There were times in my life when I really thought that I had it all figured out. My life and the relationships around me fit into a nice little box and everything was as it should be. I read a book by R.T. Kendall called Total Forgiveness. When I first read the book, I really just skimmed it and because there were so many people around me that I thought that needed to get their lives together I began giving Total Forgiveness away as Christmas and Birthday presents. Most of these people would get back to and let me know how "the book had transformed their lives" and made them feel more complete. They thanked me profusely and I went on with my life.
Then my life took a drastic turn. I was at a writer's conference and R.T. Kendall was speaking and doing a book signing. I met Mr. Kendall and his wife and he shared with me the story behind the story. My favorite aunt passed away two days later and then my uncle died suddenly. Just as I felt all was well, my brother too passed away and I knew I was not OK. It took me some time and I began to realize that I hurt and issues that I had not ever dealt with. I decided to investigate the issue of "forgiveness" in my life. Most of this was happening while I was pursuing my Masters in Elementary Education and things in my heart were getting darker.
Reflection:
I dusted off my original copy of the book and read it again and it became a new book to me. I learned that it was not others that needed to make changes in their life but me. Changes in how I approached my past, my family and my friends. Each day became this new gift because I learned that it was "OK" to not always be "OK". The book really helped me be a better teacher because "students" are not always "OK" either. This journey lead me to The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. The connection is that in The Giving Tree no matter how far away the boy gets in life he comes back to the tree where life was real.
Total Forgiveness by R.T. Kendall allows me to do two things. One, is to always be able to regroup, forgive and start over. The other is that I learned to forgive myself for things I thought were broken forever. I am listening to Total Forgiveness on audiobook and it means even more today than ever.
I appreciate your candid thoughts about forgiveness and your own experiences. Have you read about the five stages of working out a crisis or change, such as death. My father died suddenly, and anger and disbelief are part of the processing. Forgiveness is a bridge to acceptance, and it frees you to respond to everything better.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in a class with teachers studying child development, about one third of them brought in The Giving Tree as their favorite book. I like it, too, and had not read it until then. It also has an element of sadness and accepting what we can't change. I noticed it listed in your 5 book choices. It certainly would work to open many discussions.